How to Partner With Grandparents and Parents-in-law to Raise Your Child

One of the joys of modern parenting is having your parents or parents-in-law in good health to provide the much-needed support system, especially when you have a busy schedule. 

That is why we must celebrate, recognize and appreciate the role of grandparents in raising children to be strong and intelligent.

Their roles are not limited to school runs, babysitting, and even helping with feeding, especially if you have fussy eaters; sometimes, they provide much-needed emotional support when parenting overwhelms. But, as straightforward as this sounds, sometimes navigating relationships with grandparents can pose a challenge, especially if they are intrusive or counter your parenting decisions.

If this poses a challenge, you should read on to see how to partner with grandparents and parents-in-law to raise your child seamlessly.

Communicate with an open mind.

Every relationship and partnership is full of disagreements. That is why regular and open communication is paramount. Establish regular communication channels with grandparents and in-laws, such as weekly phone calls, video chats, or in-person visits. Keep everyone informed about the child’s development, milestones, and needs.

Share photos, videos, and stories of the child to help grandparents and in-laws feel connected. Be open to receiving feedback and suggestions from grandparents and in-laws.

Establish clear roles and responsibilities.

Discuss and agree on the roles and responsibilities that each family member will have in the child’s upbringing.

It may include things like childcare, discipline, and decision-making.

Be specific about what is expected of each family member.

Review and adjust roles and responsibilities as needed.

Respect different parenting styles.

Understand that grandparents and in-laws may have different parenting styles than you do, so respect their methods and try to find a common ground that works for everyone. Be willing to compromise when necessary but learn to focus on the child’s best interests.

Show appreciation

Express gratitude to grandparents and in-laws for their support and involvement in your child’s life.

Let them know how much you appreciate their help and love.

Show your appreciation through words, actions, and gifts.

How to deal with intrusive grandparents

Choose your battles

It’s essential to observe and note the behavior of grandparents towards your kids that may concern you. It can include letting them sleep way beyond the stipulated bedtime, consuming too much sugar or perhaps not enforcing enough discipline. Identifying what changes, you’d prefer and understanding why these changes matter to you is crucial.

After making this list, priorities the most critical issues for you and identify which ones you can be more flexible about. It’s essential to choose your battles wisely and always come to a compromise.

Appreciate their efforts

Grandparents often have strong opinions on parenting decisions, even little things like potty training, food choices, and letting a child cry. Sometimes, it may appear as though they are confrontational, but it comes with age and perhaps wealth of experience, hence why they offer unsolicited advice. Instead of getting defensive, it’s best to acknowledge their desire to help and offer advice. You could say things like, “Thank you, grandma; I’ll consider that recipe next time,” or “You are right o; I appreciate your suggestion.”

Involve your partner

When dealing with conflicts, it is crucial to handle them diplomatically, especially when they involve your parent-in-law. It is essential to be mindful of not involving your partner in some situations except when it becomes unavoidable to avoid breaking family ties. Instead, have your partner participate in resolving the conflict. 

Amid a family conflict, it is essential to maintain a united front. Agree upon what is best for you, your partner, and the kids to reach a peaceful resolution.

Find out more resources. Peak 456 supports parents in dealing with the ups and downs of parenting.